How The Trope “Not Like Other Girls” Became Outdated

One unfortunate truth that I’m rather embarrassed to admit is that I did have a “not like other girls” phase growing up. A phase when I stuck my nose up towards other girls with an air of self-righteousness, imitating numerous fictional female characters I’ve seen who were praised for being so different and better than all the other women around them (as if being like other girls was so awful).

From the mid-2000s to the mid-2010s, this trope dominated most media, along with other shallow tropes such as the manic pixie dream girl, the cool girl, the pick-me, etc. All of these are one-dimensional views of how women think and act, but NLOG (Not Like Other Girls) was a particularly interesting trope in how it laid claws on how women view other women. Like most media tropes, NLOG was influenced by real-world politics and feminism, and during that time, anything associated with femininity was laughed at. Thus, NLOG was born.

Anything with any association with femininity was regarded with suspicion and disgust. Pink and dolls were every NLOG nine-year-old’s enemies. Taylor Swift was a slut, One Direction was just a bunch of pretty boys, and anyone who liked their music clearly knew nothing. Any girl who wore makeup was vain and shallow, along with girls who wore dresses and skirts. Reading books and playing in the mud was a clear sign of intellectual superiority—as long as you were still conventionally attractive as you did it. 

To clarify, not all women who don't conform to gender stereotypes are NLOGs. The entire basis of what it meant to be an NLOG meant that you thought you were superior to an entire gender simply because you acted less feminine and, therefore, less frivolous in the eyes of men. Some women simply do not conform to gender roles or are less stereotypically feminine—they might honestly just not like makeup or pop music. However, in recent years, these women are often mocked and called NLOGs for not conforming to gender roles despite never thinking of themselves as superior. There is a difference between calling out women with internalized misogyny who vocalize NLOG behavior as they are being inherently exclusionary and shaming women who are non-conforming.

But that’s in the current day. Back then, NLOG was still a common mindset until it wasn’t. Over time, NLOG became less of a hailed archetype that we plastered onto female characters and influenced unfortunate young women to follow, and turned more into an insult. Suddenly, “Not Like Other Girls” was a mocking phrase used to call out internalized misogyny. But how did that happen? 

A new type of feminism began taking over, just as easily digestible for the masses: the girl boss phenomenon, where you can rule the world in heels. Women CEOs were everywhere, wearing bold lipstick and taking a stand. I mean, Hillary Clinton was running for president! However, that quickly left as it came, and after COVID-19, it wasn’t just the illusion of femininity that came back in trend but femininity itself.

The Barbie movie made $337 million worldwide in its opening weekend, and part of its massive success came from a global marketing strategy that banked on pink and feminine aesthetics. Cottagecore and fairycore are major aesthetics in fashion, and Taylor Swift is no longer mocked but celebrated as a gifted musician. There has even been the rise of the “Trad Wife” movement on TikTok, where women advocate for the return to traditional gender roles by making videos glorifying female domesticity and submission. Terms such as masculine energy and feminine power are tossed around in a sad attempt to modernize gender roles. This is a sharp turn from NLOG, now shaming women who don’t conform to gender stereotypes (though, like NLOG, women must maintain a level of attractiveness and conventional beauty).  What these two things have in common is their stubborn determination to place women in superficial boxes.

With the rise of these new movements comes the fall of NLOG. You’re no longer praised for being different from other women, and considering yourself superior because you may have different hobbies will get you odd looks rather than praise from guys. If you stick your nose up at another girl for liking Taylor Swift and wearing a sundress, you’d be called a jerk.

It’s safe to say we’ve come a long way from our “Not Like Other Girls” roots. But it’s hard to say how much progress has actually been made. With the rise of Trad Wives and with NLOG being used as an insult towards any woman who simply doesn’t conform to gender roles (a misuse of what an NLOG truly is), we seem to be sliding back into gender conformity rather than celebrating women no matter how they choose to express themselves. 

It seems we have slid from one easily digestible form of feminism and a one-dimensional view of how women should be for the past thirty years, in both media and in real life. And while the “Not Like Other Girls” trope is outdated and thoroughly stomped on until there is a push to stop putting women —both in media and in real life—in neat little boxes, these one-dimensional tropes will keep on coming.