A common argument is BYG stems from the assumption or decision on the writer’s part that a given character—a gay character in this case—is less critical to the plot than their straight counterparts. That is a bit of an oversimplification, though it often sufficed in earlier decades. These days, consider there to be two broad categories of BYG: main character and side character. The latter is where the “less critical” argument comes from, and perpetuates a trend of minority characters biting the bullet before straight cis white counterparts. Think of The Walking Dead’s “Black Man Problem,” another self-explanatory trend emerging from the deaths of every single black man on the show except popular character Morgan. TWD also has problems with its LGBT characters, killing recurring character Aaron’s husband and lesbian couple Denise and Tara.
Minority characters are often added as sidekicks, comedic relief, and love interests as a clutch for diversity points. Seen as less critical to the plot, by virtue of being a side character who may or may not have garnered some affection from fans, when the plot demands a death, these side characters are easy pickings. Lazy writing, plain and simple, plus underlying biases, and the most common form of BYG.
Main character BYG is more often about angst and for obvious reasons most frequently takes place at the end of a story. It is different from side character BYG in that it is difficult to kill a main character in a throw away action, but it may be done because:
1) The writers don’t know what to do with this character and need them out of the way
2) A death for shock value is required
3) The main crew needs some kind of shared trauma/motivation
They escape the main pitfalls by virtue of their main character plot armor, right up until they must sacrifice themselves to save the world or a loved one, lose their memory, fail in their quest, fall to the dark side, etc. Many see this as a legacy of the Hays Code, effective from 1930 to 1968 in the United States, which prohibited depictions of the taboo—including homosexuality—unless the characters engaging in the taboo are shown as suitably punished/reformed. Others view the lack of happy endings for LGBT characters as an unimaginative continuation of historical oppression and violence against the community. Both can and are true… and are not.
The Haunting of Bly Manor released in October 2020 as another entry in the paranormal anthology of series Netflix began with The Haunting of Hill House. Adapted from the iconic paranormal classic The Turn of the Screw, the show follows lead character Dani who has accepted an au pair position taking care of two children who recently lost their parents and first nanny to unrelated misfortunes. Over the course of the season, Dani gradually develops a relationship with the gardener, Jamie. Toward the end, they live together, form a civil union due to being unable to marry, and enjoy many happy years together. Unfortunately, to end the haunting which plagued Bly Manor and it’s residents, Dani merged with the enraged spirit, the Lady of the Lake. It allowed her to live, but when the spirit’s influence began to threaten Jamie’s life, Dani knew her time was up. She returned to the lake and died.
Many were disappointed Dani missed out on her happy ending, but the ending holds up for a number of reasons beginning with how the ending could have been happy had the framing of the narrative not forced them to a resolution. To be believable, the Lady of the Lake would not politely recede to nothingness, Dani could not have avoided her to the end. More crucially, Dani and Jamie’s relationship is mirrored at the start of the series by that of Dani and her male fiancé, who, after a rocky breakup, was killed. His death was not Dani’s responsibility. Nevertheless, she feels a great deal of guilt, and her coming to terms with his violent end, the part she played in it, and her sexuality is a subplot lovingly rendered and allowed to breathe throughout the narrative. Her inability to prevent what befell her ex-fiancé heavily influences her choice at the end of Bly when she does have the ability to protect her loved one. Her character is fully fledged, her motivations are clear and well-founded, and the end is not the result of random happenstance.
Some will still claim Dani’s fate to be an example of BYG, and truthfully it is an arguable position. Although I personally love to argue, the discussion will have to wait, so may I offer a less ambiguous example of BYG to sate the palates of the so-inclined?