Asexual Books & The Importance Of Asexual Representation In The Media

In our society, most people are unaware of Asexuality or misunderstand it. Asexuality refers to individuals who have little to no sexual attraction to others. From my personal experience, not a lot of people know about Asexuality, and believe that I have not found the right person yet. I have recently come across some books that have made me feel accepted and loved for my sexuality.

Those who are curious about learning about compulsory sexuality should read "Ace What  Asexuality Reveals about Desire, Society and The Meaning of Sex" by Angela Chen, which the book represents different aspects of the Ace spectrum. This book focuses on how other people should learn to accept other sexualities despite their differences and the stories of aces from every part of the spectrum. It also provides different aspects of intersectionality, especially highlighting those who are disabled and Asexual or Trans and Asexual and their experiences. The importance of these Asexual people telling their stories throughout this book is so that other people who may not understand Asexuality can learn. This informative book also advises younger Asexuals and Aromantics; it even discusses those who don’t feel comfortable coming out.

Another book,  "Let's Talk About Love by Claire Kann," is a nonfiction book that follows a college student named Alice whose girlfriend Margot broke up with her due to her being Asexual. She does not want to be alone because of her sexuality she wants to find love and acceptance. Alice decides to go to therapy because she struggles to accept herself for her sexuality. Throughout this book, Alice goes on a journey in which she learns what true acceptance is.  While working at the library, Alice meets a man named Takumi, and the two start hanging out with one another. The reason why you should read this book is because Alice is learning to accept her Asexuality and differentiate between romantic attraction and sexual attraction. 

These are some other Asexual and Aromantic books that you can add to your reading list: 

• “The Romantic Agenda”,- In the Romantic Agenda by Claire Kann

  This nonfiction book follows a young adult woman named  Joy who falls in love with her best friend, Malcolm. Joy is heartbroken when Malcolm announces he has met the love of his life.  Malcolm invites Joy to a weekend trip and she tries to want him to notice her. She plans to pretend to be in a relationship with a guy named Fox to make Malcolm jealous.  Readers should read this book because it comes with drama and lots of funny moments. It’s also Buzzfeed's most LGBTQ reads for 2022.

• “Where The River Meets The Soul”, by S. Nicole.

  This is a fiction book that follows Heriath, a herbalist who loses the Elysir, a magical bloom that has healed the people of Vyelan for a hundred years. When her sister is sick, she goes on a journey to find the magical bloom and the help of a friend. To save her sister she must reunite the souls of an ancient mystic and his wife. Trouble begins when she has to choose between her sister's life or the newly bonded pair and her newfound feelings. Readers should read this book if they are interested in fantasy and adventure. The main character is also Asexual.

• “Fallen Thorns” by Harvey  Oliver Baxter

  A fantasy book about a young man named Arlo who is lost and is a fantasy book that is about a young man named Arlo who is lost and thinks he has everything planned out in his life. Arlo thought he’d graduate, find love, and get married but in the end, he dies.  Arlo is turned into a vampire and meets people who promise to always have his back. He wants to figure out his life purpose andhis sexuality. The reason why readers should read this book is because it’s a book about self-discovery and acceptance.

• “Loveless” by Alice Oseman.

  “Loveless”  is about a college student named Georgia who is coming to terms with being Asexual and Aromantic and trying to find love. Georgia does not understand why she can’t crush or kiss like her other friends.  Until she gets to college she finally understands why she feels this way. Georgia has a lot of funny and drama-filled adventures. The reason why readers should read this book is because it is about self-discovery and what it means to be Asexual and Aromantic.

The lack of Asexual characters in the media can make younger Asexual and Aromantics feel like they are left out or underrepresented in the LGBTQ+ community. The importance of Asexual characters in the media is so people will understand how characters like Todd from "Bojack Horseman", Alastor from "Hazbin Hotel", and O from "Sex Education", Issac from “Heartstoppers”, Elijah from "Big Mouth" are as individuals.

Todd was the first Asexual character in media that most Asexual people know of in the media. Todd describes his sexuality, Todd saying, “I'm not gay. I mean, I don't think I am, but I don't think I'm straight, either. I don't know what I am. I think I might be nothing.” This representation is important because it will help young Aces (Asexuals) realize why they feel a particular way. Seeing a character like Todd made me feel seen because I’ve always had a hard time understanding my feelings for others and why I never dated anyone before. Seeing this representation for the first time made me feel like I was not alone in my identity.

O from “Sex Education” Sex Education represents O as a cold and calculated character. There were a lot of mixed emotions regarding O’s character from the viewers. Yasmin  Benoit, who is an Asexual activist and writer on  O’s storyline, tries to avoid these stereotypes. Yasmin says “There’s this idea that sexual attraction or romantic attraction or some combination is supposed to be the epitome of human connection, and if you don’t have that, there’s something unnatural about you. And people incorrectly tie it in with the empathy and your ability to connect with people on different levels.” Yasmin also talks about how when developing the character O, she tried to tell the writers, “The heartless asexual villain was something I was literally in the writer’s room we’ve got to be careful because we don’t want this to happen.” The importance is to highlight Asexual characters not as a heartless robot but as a person who may express connections differently from everyone else.

In some shows the representation of non-sexual activity is looked at as being unnatural or strange. An example of this is an episode from the show “House” in which a man believed he believes he is Asexual, and House bets a hundred dollars and says,  “It’s a medical reason as to why.”A lot of Asexual people had a gripe with this episode due to the misconceptions of Asexuality. Asexuals often hear things like there must be a medical condition as to why someone does not want to have sex. Asexual people also often hear that they are broken, and that’s why there needs to be more representation regarding Asexuality.

The importance of having representation of Asexual characters is that more people will learn more about this sexuality.  Representation can also make more Asexuals and Aromantics feel seen and not like no one else will understand them. Additionally, books can help young Asexuals learn and accept that they are Asexual and that there is nothing wrong with their identity if they might have any doubt about why they aren’t attracted to someone sexually or romantically. In most of the books listed above, most characters attempt to accept themselves and explore these feelings. These books also give the reader a sense of a way to escape if they feel like no one else understands how they feel or may not have anyone else in the same community as them. The importance of representing these characters on television may inspire some Asexual creators to make their characters or push for more representation, despite some of the media trying to erase the representation due to the lack of knowledge regarding Asexuality. Having more characters interacting with one another will show how these characters don’t engage romantically or sexually like their other counterparts in their show. More representation is not always a good representation, but more stories deserve to be told and represented correctly.